The most common reaction I get when I visit my clients is, “How did I not know that before?” The truth is, I always knew and I was just not aware.
What you probably know now is that it’s a little more complex than that. Sure, I knew the truth, but my awareness of it was lacking.
So how does it help someone with self-awareness to know that they haven’t been self-aware? Well, it’s very simple, and it has a lot of benefits as well. If you have a problem you’re facing, you can begin to see that you’re on the right track by simply changing your behavior towards the problem. We have all had that feeling of helplessness.
By changing our behavior, we can make ourselves aware of our choices. If we don’t know we are making choices, we won’t choose to make them. However, a habit of self-awareness includes having a conscious awareness of our behavior. It also includes identifying our triggers and taking steps to change our behavior as needed.
When you start thinking about changing your behavior, you cant begin thinking about getting rid of that habit. If you dont have a habit of turning yourself into an asshole with your actions, then that isnt a self-control problem. If you dont have a habit of turning yourself into a fool, then you must have a self-control problem. Or you must have a self-control problem at all.
Thats right. This is what we call a habit. We think of habits like they are a physical condition. The problem with habits is that they are much more than that. Habits are more than just physical. A habit is a mental state. If you have a habit of smoking, you will think about yourself every time you smoke. You may even think about it for hours if you smoke enough.
Be very careful when you have a habit. If we do a lot of things that we think will always be done by ourselves, then it is a habit. If we do a lot of things that we think will always be done by our kids, then it is a habit. If we do something that you just never do, then it is a habit.
Habits are easy to spot; they are our ways of doing things. They are not self-awareness.
Habits are not self-awareness. We can have the same habits, routines, and impulses as anyone else but we can also have the opposite of habits. We can also have a lot of habits, routines, and impulses that we think will never be a habit, that we think will never be a routine, and that we think will never be an impulse.
Habits are what we do when we have a choice. They are not choices we make on purpose because we are never aware of our habits. If that weren’t the case, then we wouldn’t be able to choose to do anything at all.